How to manage Failure in Love!

At least, once in our lifetime, each one of us has suffered the agony and pain of the breakup of an important love relationship. Indeed, it’s one of the most traumatic of human experience and surviving it makes you even stronger. You can’t sleep, can’t eat and can’t do anything because he or she’s all you can ever think of. Whatever may be the reason, you keep repeating your heartbreak mantra, “Why did it happen to me?” “What If” as you succumb to a series of hysterical crying fits. Some people need a shoulder to cry, some prefer it alone, but everybody cries. Some people assume that they are not the one who would mourn or cry but their heart knows it better. The pain can be so strong that it penetrates each and every fiber of our being. It’s the vacuum which gets created due to the absence of somebody ‘Special’ in our life. Even after months of the breakup, we often find ourselves stuck in the bed grieving over our lost love. The amount of investment in terms of emotions, time, energy, faith and hope in that relationship haunts us. Everywhere we go we are reminded of our lost love- A face in crowd, a distant voice, somebody’s behavior, a song, a phrase used often by your loved one, the fragrance which your loved one used to wear. And above all, the letters, the poetry, the gifts, the scribbles exchanged between you and her/him becomes a burden to you. You can’t bear to keep them in front of your eyes and you can’t even throw them away or burn them. The mere thought of throwing or burning these things, which were once the most precious things for you, makes you tremble.  Ironically, when you plan to go for a trip to get rid of the hangover, you are reminded of the time you spent with each other at some or the other place. Whenever you see a couple deeply in love with each other, your memories are reinforced.  And then there are the haunting doubts. If the breakup came after a long and painful decision on your part, you constantly ‘replay’ the conversations and constantly revaluate your stand. You constantly question your decision. And if by any chance, you did something in a weak moment to cause the breakup, you may be left with extra pain and burden of remorse and guilt piled up on top of the pain of separation.  But enough is enough. No need to cry anymore. Luv Guru is at your rescue. Let’s start the GYAN session now. And Puhleeez pay attention to what I have to say.The most important thing is to keep in mind at this point of time is that it happens to everyone and life does go on. As someone like me who has gone through a series of heart breaks, I can say that as tough as things may look, eventually the pain and hurt do dissipate. There was a life before her and there is certainly a life after her (Him in case of women). These are the life defining moments, when you wake up and realize that you can stand on your own again. But I know everybody is not as tough or may be as seasoned as I am, so I respect everybody’s healing process.  All said and done, let’s see what best we can do in order to come over the heartbreak.  The Do’s during a heart break v      Lose it- Moan, Sob, Just vent it out. Let it hang out. Cry your heart out. Talk to your meaningful friends and tell them your heartaches for the 25^th time. Write horrible poetry. Wallow in self pity. v      Accept it, what you can’t change- If you were the one who took the decision then understand the situation in which you took the decision. Respect your decision. And if the other person was the one who took the decision then realize that there was nothing you could do to save the relationship. v      You’re not alone- Remember right now there are thousands of people around you who are going through the same pain and agony of separation. Look out for your best friend; he/she might be the one who’s in the same boat. v      Work it out- Put your positive attitude at work and head to a gym for some 30-minute work out a day. Exercise will make you feel and look good as it helps pump out endorphins, the body’s natural chemicals that make you feel strong and oozing with sex appeal. Now you know how I manage this well chiseled body and sex appeal. v      Pretend if necessary-Get out and show the world that you’re not an emotional wreck. Crack a smile and show those off-whites or pearly whites. After good practice of pretences, you’ll find yourself doing all these naturally.  v      Close the Door-Don’t be a fool for love. If he/she calls you and asks for one more chance or tells you that he/she has someone new but wants to stay friends, don’t buy him. You’ll end up believing subconsciously that there is still something left in him/her for you when the truth is, there’s none. False hopes mean NOTHING at all, mind you. v      Move on-An end of relationship doesn’t mean an end of you. Just look around there are so many suitors for you. I won’t mind mingling with any of you ladies, if being with me can sooth you a bit. I strictly believe in social service.  v      Change is the answer-Change the environment. Take all the things down, the gifts, the pictures, everything which reminds you of his or her and put it in a box and place it as far as possible from you. Try rearranging the furniture in your room (Trust me it works wonders!).  “AND THIS TOO SHALL PASS” Remember as the time passes, things would change completely. Your whole perspective for things would change. Avoid the reminders. Don’t constantly replay the conversations you may have had while the break up. Make a COMPLETE and Clean break. Wounds will heal faster if you don’t risk constantly reopening them. We need to work on ‘Emotional Dependency’. Although she was important to me but I never allowed her to be absolutely essential for my happiness. Getting Inspired? 

Let’s face it: Break-ups aren’t fun, but with a little time you will realize that your life is better than before. Don’t give up on love and remember with every tear, you’ll have fifty smiles coming your way. For sure, loving someone is a huge risk which we all take. What’s a life without love? So live and love. After all there is no joy without pain and no bliss without hell.