Thanx for dropping in. I respect all your thoughts and emotions for me/us. Although, I understand that you have all rights to express yourself at any platform, I request you to kindly do it where you, your thoughts, your emotions can be well judged & understood. “……Sifar” is always awaiting your fullstops buddy!!!!!

Shez, I am not being judgemental for level of understanding you can show for this piece of work….I have no doubts on your hospitality. However, I understand that you do not like to be commented on your personal life…..and thats why the request above.

Carried away by our last conversation, I ask my sincere apologies for anything that might have hurt you (for things I did and also for things I NEVER DID).

You may carry on with this pious engagement of yours with my commitment to you for never returning on this page as me / jiya or anyother identity. Afterall, there has to be an end to all stories….coz there is an upper limit to accept disrespect for me and my love.

Live happy!
Good Bye

Astonished that I am addressing you both? Well, dont be!

After having read, heard, dissected, imbibed and understood whatever you both had to express through “The Alchemy of Ecstasy!!”, it is not a surprise that I have collectively written to you.

Shez, as I had told you long time back also, you dont know me and even though we live in this small lil’ global village called Earth, our chances of meeting are remote. But, that doesnt mean that I shall remain elusive. As promised eons ago, I keep coming back here, if for nothing else, then for taking stock of things. No, I aint a peeping Tom but someone who loves indulging in the paeans dedicated to Love. I do have a thing for this girl of yours; No, I am not taking her anywhere away from you but just that she fascinates me. Love her dedication and drive that is so rare in people these days.

Jiya. This one is for you. Having loved, lost, rediscovered and lost once again the most precious treasure of your life, I can very well understand what you must be feeling day in and day out. As I always say, its nothing more than a sublime ecstasy but hey, it doesnt take too much of courage to stand up and fight for what you really want. No matter how much you may deny it but the fact is that I know what you both want and secretly (perhaps) hope may come true. Trust me, Rocket Science is easier compared to the dilly dallying you both have been doing. If it means so much to both of you then why dont you guys just take the plunge and get on with it.

Remember that day when I was teaching you the basics of mountaineering?
“If you dont put your feet on the rope, you’ll never cross the chasm”. It wouldnt have been any truer than in your case. Go for it buddy if that is what you really want – I will back you up to the hilt. As for Shez, you know (hopefully) that he is pining for you since day 1 and so, why the delay?

Jiya, even in your denial comes your affirmation that what you pretend doesnt exist actually keeps you driving in life. You always wonder how I manage to read you so well, understand you so easily, manage to unravel the mystery of Enigma that you have built around yourself and come right in smashing through the facade you have created for rest the world. The answer is simple – I could and still can pick up targets from 70K feet and so it shouldnt surprise you next time I tell you something which you have locked deep within yourself.

Shez, you are lucky that you got someone like her in life. Agreed that times have changed and people have come and gone but if you ask me, things havent changed a bit for Jiya. She still roots for you, waits for the day when things will become conducive enough for you guys to get back together. You may not believe me but thats the hard stark fact of life.

The Bayonet still awaits you but the edge is not blunted. I never forgive and never forget but this time at least, I have made an exception. I know Shez all these talks of mine must be creating a havoc in your life but hey, trust me, I dont mean you any harm.

I got a connection with this infinite space surrounding us. I have been there and witnessed the most surreal feeling that a human being can ever get and I respect people who share this feeling with me. Jiya is one such gal and the only reason I keep coming back here is her. You too! LOL!

17th Jan 2009 is when you wrote your last post. Its 09 March 2009, 0116 Hrs and there is no news from you. I would sincerely suggest you put your thinking hat back on your head and start writing more often.

Jiya, I know you are going to “HATE” me for this, hate me for unraveling the mystery behind the pseudonym you have been using all these days but hey, like I told you, I got an eye for detail and so, nothing ever escapes my attention.

A few years back I had promised “SJ” that one day I am gonna take you hiking up Lahaul Spiti valley, the same place which you are so scared of. Probably, Shez should come along also. Back in the fauj, I was a Pathfinder, the guy who drops into enemy territory and opens up the terrain for rest of the platoon to push in. May be I would be the Pathfinder for you guys in Lahaul Spiti also – I will open up the route for you both and then its up to you guys to decide the best course of action.

I will leave you both with an everlasting thought. As a Chindit, this ode to bravery helped me ride through the boredom of sitting on a tree top with a Dragunov in my hand waiting for that elusive target to materialize so that we could make our kill and come back to civilization – a civilization that doesnt even know we exist and takes Peace for granted.

“When you go home,
Tell them of us and say,
For your tomorrow,
We gave our today!”

Correct me if I am wrong Shez but, isn’t she the “One”?

Amber colored mahogany,
Deep crusted monotony,
Whispering winds,
Taboo’s springing within.

The Bayonet still waits for you

Its a blissful soliloquy!

ive just discovered he’s going out with some one else, i tell my self im happy because he is, but it doesnt work, i cant kid my self like i kid very one else when i say im fine.

how do you mend somethink thats only hypethetical,your heart isnt what makes you love, its my god for saken brain. and i wish it would stop my feelings, i wish i wouldnt love. i wish i was emotionless. love has given me nothing, except pain. i dont want to hurt any more. but i cant stop my self from loving.

i should just face the facts, after all im not stupid, i should have got to the conclusion all ready, i will love and hurt for the rest of my life, but no one will ever eel the same way back.

to love another is to hate your self.

Awaiting…..

Follow your heart and keep loving till ur alive…

CIAO

Shez